Thursday, August 11, 2016

4 Ways We Mistakenly Define Ourselves




Human beings are flawed; nobody’s perfect. Humanity’s goal has been to rise above imperfection through self-effort to become “good human beings.” 

“Humanism,” described by Thomas W. Clark, “is often characterized as a secular alternative to religion in our quest for a good, moral, and self-fulfilling life.” We all want success, contentment and happiness, right? Many of us are striving to attain these things without God.

Tim Keller, in his remarkable book, The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism, wrote: 

At some point in most lives, we are confronted with the fact that we are not the persons we know we should be. Almost always our response is to ‘turn over a new leaf’ and try harder to live according to our principles. That ultimately will only lead us into a spiritual dead end (pp. 168-169).


Worth by Degree

Humans are born into the world with an overwhelming need to find a sense of self-worth and importance, to be acknowledged in society, and ultimately to reach a state of happiness or satisfaction in life. Our tendency is to compare our worth by degree, through assessing ourselves in contrast to others, and defining our importance by what others see as valuable—not by God’s criteria. We tend to describe ourselves by what we’ve done in the past, who we know, the great things we are doing today, how much money we have—not by who or Who’s we are.

Paul, in a letter to the Galatians, wrote, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Gal. 1:10, ESV).

Misguided Means of Measuring Up

According to the Apostle Paul, we must learn to define ourselves by God’s standards, not by the destructive means of comparing ourselves to others. The following are four misguided ways we often use to define ourselves:

Through Our Accomplishments—the “good” we’ve done

The world often defines success by one’s talents, academic degrees, one’s chosen profession, and by how much money a person has acquired. The classic barometer for significance in today’s world gauges a person’s value based on their possessions, position and power. We even measure our worth by how much we’ve done for others—thinking that, in the end, the “good” we’ve accomplished will give us a pass when standing before a holy God on the threshold of eternity. Paul said:

I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith (Phil. 3:8-9).

Through Our Actions—the “bad” we’ve done

Many of us define our self-worth based on the mistakes and poor decisions of days gone by—missteps long, long ago. Many a poor soul has given up on their future based on actions in the past—maybe even for a blunder one has made that day. The good news is: God loves us despite our waywardness. Romans 3:10 says, “None is righteous, no, not one” (ESV). Isaiah 64:6 says, “We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away” (ESV). Tim Keller recently tweeted: “The gospel says you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, but more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope.”
       
      Through Our Associations—who we know

Many times we define ourselves by friends and who we hangout with. We may even find self-worth through political and denominational affiliations. One of the most misleading measuring sticks of worth is appraising one’s social standing, determining value based on which rung of the social ladder we find ourselves. Tom Mulnix, in a Relevant Magazine article wrote:

You are defined by your values, beliefs, ideals and commitments. Those must become the non-negotiables of your life if you want to be the one making the definition. If those things aren’t solidly set, when the world asks you about them—and it will—prepare to be told who you are (May 20, 2003).

If we find our significance in God, we know what the Bible says about our most important association: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Gal. 2:20, ESV).

      Through Our Appearance—what we look like

Sadly in America today, we find our appearance to be one of the greatest measurements of self-worth. One’s looks, stature, weight, complexion, age, gender, and race all play into this deceptive acceptance-by-appearance game. The Bible says, “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come” (1 Tim. 4:8, NIV).

Be Free In Christ

            The sad truth is that many define themselves relative to something or someone else. When one’s identity is rooted and validated in any of the four things listed above—accomplishments, past actions, associations, or appearance—a person will be severely limited in their life-potential. Again, Tom Mulnix observes, “Most of us take our cues from this world, instead of the One who made it. The best this world can offer us is circumstance and expectation, while the One who made it offers purpose, direction, meaning and endless hope.”

            The Bible says: “You have been bought and paid for by Christ, so you belong to him—be free now from all these earthly prides and fears” (1 Cor. 7:23, TLB).

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