They'll Change Your Life!

Whenever my dad sees a couple in a store, carrying a child or pushing them in a grocery cart, he almost always stops them in their tracks to make the same comment, "Kids will change your life!" Even though some of those bewildered parents look back over their shoulder at the old guy walking away and wonder who that bearded man was, my dad doesn't give a flyin' flip--partly because he is 83 and mostly because he knows what he's talking about. He raised 3 boys and was married for just short of 50 years before my mom, without warning, passed away 13 years ago.

Getting married and having kids are both an exercise in ignorance. Kind of like eating sausage: if we knew too much about the ingredients and how it was made, we probably wouldn't partake. Marriage and parenting not only demands more from us than we originally thought but also gives us so much in return.

Brenda and I were married at Christmastime in 1985. We were so poor, the homeless felt sorry for us. We started out living in a one bedroom apartment and within a few months we found a charming little house to rent who's owners knew Brenda since childhood. We had made the decision that we wanted kids and, vavoom, after 4 months of marriage, Josh was on the way. So many people thought we were crazy for starting so soon--especially since I was a freshman at Mobile College and we barely had a nickel to our name. Nevertheless, we blissfully took the challenge that was to become a lifetime commitment. Josh was born just a year and a month after our wedding day. We had to adjust our schedule to his as he demanded to eat, be washed, changed and paid attention to, all on his time--and he certainly took no consideration for our needs. We were all too happy to have Josh in our lives. A year and a month later, Betsy joyfully came into our lives.

Raising children is a blinding endeavor involving thousands of hours of minutiae. Their growing needs constantly shift our living patterns and challenge our patience. From the first step our children take on their own to the independence of riding a bike and staying over night at a friend's house, they are slowly moving away from us. All of the baths, meals, clothes washing, playing, naps, kisses, bruises and cuts, living and learning are such a blur until you come come to a clearing and realize your kids have graduated from high school.

We just saw Toy Story 3 and related to the mom who looked at the recently vacated room of her son who was going away to college. She pondered the memories that hung like crayon drawings on the walls of their lives over the past 17 years and simply inhaled, lifted her shoulders and exhaled in silent lament. We spend our young years teaching our kids to live on their own and before we know it, we are on trial because it is our burden to let them go. Even though our kids left home 2 years ago to live on their own, we are still their mom and dad and forever will be looking out for their well being, albeit from a distance.

As Josh marries Amber in a few weeks, just like Betsy married Adam last year, Brenda and I will look forward to one day seeing our grandchildren being born into homes that, we are confident, will be full of love and nurture, just like ours has been. Kids will change your life and bring blessings that two ignorant newlyweds could never imagine.