In Hot Water

There's nothing worse than getting into a shower, ready for a rejuvenating 20-minute sauna experience, only to find there is just enough hot water available to fill a tea cup. The next sucky thing is that the pressure coming off of the shower spigot is about as powerful as a vegetable irrigation system at the local grocery store. I like to travel, not because I adore crowded planes and shuttle buses, but for the fact that most decent hotel rooms have hot water and pretty serious water pressure. In other words, to get a good shower, I have to leave home! That's just plain wrong.

Because of this serious problem in our home, growing increasingly worse over the past two years, it was finally time to get my beloved shower back in working order. A few years ago I had a plumber come out and survey the problem. Of course when mechanics, electricians and plumbers see me coming, their eyes usually light up with matching jackpot symbols like a Vegas slot machine (they put two and two together: musician equals idiot with zero fix-it skills). They immediately start to plan their Redneck Riviera vacation at Gulf Shores as they add-up the potential financial damage they'll be creating for me.

The plumber who came over on this occasion let me off fairly easy and suggested a simple water heater flush. "Okay?" was my ignorant reply (he could have said "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!" from Mary Poppins and I would have said, "Cool..sounds great!!"). He proceeded to hook a garden hose up to the water heater sitting in the back corner of my garage. After the better part of an hour, he bled that cylinder dry (what he did while the water water was draining is still a mystery). When it was through, the guy pointed to the runoff in my driveway: I couldn't believe the amount of sand that made its home in my water heater over the previous eight years. Its bowels were exposed, transforming the concrete drive into what looked like the Sahara Desert!

He snapped a bubble on a huge chuck of pink gum then proceeded to suggest I get a new water heater. After tallying-up the charges, he plopped a piece of paper into my palm that read: $750. "And we'll even haul the old one away," he said offhandedly while simultaneously checking text messages on his cell. Snapping his flip-phone shut, he zoomed-in for my idiot-musician response. I surprised him with, "Maybe next time..." He shook his head with disapproval, rolled up the garden hose and threw it in the truck. It landed right next to the brand-new water heater that he hoped to offload on me.

So, two years later, its time to replace that dinosaur in my garage. My buddy Kevin is coming over this morning to help me. No, let me rephrase that...Kevin is coming over and I'm gonna help him...errr...get in his way. Hopefully, after the problem has been corrected, tomorrow morning I can lean up against the corner of my shower to let that scalding hot water cascade down my back and wash another "honey-do" off the list. Next item: the upstairs air conditioner drain isn't working. I guess I better see if my buddy's available...