Lessons from the Titanic: Cosmo's Regret

Sir Cosmo Duff Gordon, Titanic survivor

Isn't it interesting that years afterward, our memory still keeps account of things we could have done but failed to do? Like a gnawing toothache, we have a difficult time pushing the pain down and away from our consciousness. Sir Cosmo Duff Gordon went to his death a man pained and haunted by what he could have done.

Sir Cosmo did everything to order, if you look at his well-healed upbringing and social status throughout his life. He married well, joined the right clubs, even won a silver medal in fencing for Great Britain at the 1906 Summer Olympics. His family was well known for producing fine wines. Generally, he was the kind of person any British boy would want to become. But it was during a voyage of the RMS Titanic that added a bit of tarnish to his otherwise glowing reputation.

It seems that on the fateful night of April 14, 1912, his fortune as a first-class passenger became a ticket that whisked him away from the doom which most of the poor steerage passengers met. Cosmo and his wife boarded a lifeboat early in the sinking, taking their personal servants with them. Their lifeboat departed the ship with just twelve or so people aboard, although it could have held thirty or so more. It has been rumored that Cosmo offered bribes for safe passage on the lifeboat.

After watching the ship dive beneath the water, amidst the screams of the 1,500 people calling for help that they were ignoring, the tactless Lucy, Cosmo's wife, commented to her secretary, "Where is your beautiful nightdress gone." Two sailors aboard the boat were heard to say in response, "It's all right for you, you can get more clothes, but we have lost everything." Cosmos reportedly gave them money on the spot for their trouble--which would later cause him a life of grief as rumors of a bribe proliferated through the grapevines of their London social circles.

Surviving the incident, Cosmo and Lucy's marriage would eventually disintegrate, leaving them childless. Cosmo would die of natural causes in 1931, and before her death in 1935, Lucy's business went bankrupt. It is said that Cosmo held regret to his dying day for the decision made that horrible night.

Rumors are vicious and regret can be amplified when constantly reminded of one's failure. The pain of failure can stop us in our tracks if we let it. Cosmo may have become a punching bag for family members of those who perished in the Titanic tragedy. It's easy to blame the Gordons, but what would you or I do in the same circumstance? The best thing we can hope for in the face of challenge is to follow our conscience and to put others first.

This week we remember the crew and passengers of the Titanic during the 100th anniversary of it's sinking. God bless the memory of those who lost their lives in the frigid waters, and may we learn the lessons taught from that tragic incident so long ago.