4 Ways We Mistakenly Define Ourselves

Human beings are flawed; nobody’s perfect. Humanity’s goal has been to rise above imperfection through self-effort to become “good human beings.” 

“Humanism,” described by Thomas W. Clark, “is often characterized as a secular alternative to religion in our quest for a good, moral, and self-fulfilling life.” We all want success, contentment and happiness, right? Many of us are striving to attain these things without God.

Tim Keller, in his remarkable book, The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism, wrote: 

At some point in most lives, we are confronted with the fact that we are not the persons we know we should be. Almost always our response is to ‘turn over a new leaf’ and try harder to live according to our principles. That ultimately will only lead us into a spiritual dead end (pp. 168-169).

Worth by Degree

Humans are born into the world with an overwhelming need to find a sense of self-worth and importance, to be acknowledged in society, and ultimately to reach a state of happiness or satisfaction in life. Our tendency is to compare our worth by degree, through assessing ourselves in contrast to others, and defining our importance by what others see as valuable—not by God’s criteria. We tend to describe ourselves by what we’ve done in the past, who we know, the great things we are doing today, how much money we have—not by who or Who’s we are.

Paul, in a letter to the Galatians, wrote, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Gal. 1:10, ESV).

Misguided Means of Measuring Up

According to the Apostle Paul, we must learn to define ourselves by God’s standards, not by the destructive means of comparing ourselves to others. The following are four misguided ways we often use to define ourselves:

Through Our Accomplishments—the “good” we’ve done

The world often defines success by one’s talents, academic degrees, one’s chosen profession, and by how much money a person has acquired. The classic barometer for significance in today’s world gauges a person’s value based on their possessions, position and power. We even measure our worth by how much we’ve done for others—thinking that, in the end, the “good” we’ve accomplished will give us a pass when standing before a holy God on the threshold of eternity. Paul said:

I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith (Phil. 3:8-9).

Through Our Actions—the “bad” we’ve done

Many of us define our self-worth based on the mistakes and poor decisions of days gone by—missteps long, long ago. Many a poor soul has given up on their future based on actions in the past—maybe even for a blunder one has made that day. The good news is: God loves us despite our waywardness. Romans 3:10 says, “None is righteous, no, not one” (ESV). Isaiah 64:6 says, “We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away” (ESV). Tim Keller recently tweeted: “The gospel says you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, but more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope.”

       

      Through Our Associations—who we know

Many times we define ourselves by friends and who we hangout with. We may even find self-worth through political and denominational affiliations. One of the most misleading measuring sticks of worth is appraising one’s social standing, determining value based on which rung of the social ladder we find ourselves. Tom Mulnix, in a Relevant Magazine article wrote:

You are defined by your values, beliefs, ideals and commitments. Those must become the non-negotiables of your life if you want to be the one making the definition. If those things aren’t solidly set, when the world asks you about them—and it will—prepare to be told who you are (May 20, 2003).

If we find our significance in God, we know what the Bible says about our most important association: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Gal. 2:20, ESV).

      Through Our Appearance—what we look like

Sadly in America today, we find our appearance to be one of the greatest measurements of self-worth. One’s looks, stature, weight, complexion, age, gender, and race all play into this deceptive acceptance-by-appearance game. The Bible says, “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come” (1 Tim. 4:8, NIV).

Be Free In Christ

            The sad truth is that many define themselves relative to something or someone else. When one’s identity is rooted and validated in any of the four things listed above—accomplishments, past actions, associations, or appearance—a person will be severely limited in their life-potential. Again, Tom Mulnix observes, “Most of us take our cues from this world, instead of the One who made it. The best this world can offer us is circumstance and expectation, while the One who made it offers purpose, direction, meaning and endless hope.”

            The Bible says: “You have been bought and paid for by Christ, so you belong to him—be free now from all these earthly prides and fears” (1 Cor. 7:23, TLB).

Is Being A Christ-Follower Worth It? 4 Unshakable Reasons

I recently caught several installments of a very interesting T.V. series about notable men who began their infamous careers around the beginning of the 20^th century. One of them, John D. Torrio, was a very successful man by earthly standards. He dodged death several times, financially prospered in the midst of a devastated economy, and died extremely wealthy at the ripe age of 75.

His prosperity may have been appalling in a woeful era where Americans died by the thousands on French battlefields in World War I, and where many would later suffer through the Great Depression—even World War II. But Torrio, known as “The Fox” to his associates, wasn’t a typical American; he was a rich gangster, depleting the pockets of Chicagoans by supplying illegal drink, gambling and prostitution. Even in an environment of corruption and killing, Torrio’s levelheaded way of doing gangster business deeply influenced a young, up-and-coming mobster—Al Capone—along with many others.

To be absolutely clear, this illicit behavior is an abomination to God (Prov. 6:16-19). But the crazy truth is, ruthless cutthroat criminals may thrive in their perverse deeds, and then go home to tenderly dote on their own children.

Jesus said:

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full (Luke 6:32-34, NIV).

Also, we read in Scripture that even the unrighteous give good gifts to their children (Matt. 7:9-11); God has planted knowledge deep in the heart of man concerning truth and God (Rom. 1:18-20; Jude 1:10). In Romans 1:32, Paul writes: “Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them” (NIV).

Torrio, Capone and their criminal comrades did some very horrific things that obviously were contrary to everything Christianity represents—even though, ironically, many in the ‘Chicago Outfit’ were confirmed Catholics.

So why is it that some unrighteous people seem to prosper and many Christians do not? Clearly, God despises sin and has placed judgment upon mankind, who “received in themselves the due penalty for their error” (Rom. 1:26, NIV). Psalm 1:3 speaks of the righteous person, saying, “In all that he does, he prospers.” But how can this be so when there are criminals and unrighteous people who continue to flourish in their wicked enterprises and seemingly go unscathed (Mal. 3:15; Ps. 44:20-22)?

Psalm 37:7 says: “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes” (NIV). The Christ-follower’s perspective must be that living for God is very much worth it! Here are four eternal things that a Christian must understand can never be shaken:

1            God’s Throne (Ps. 45:6; Lam. 5:19)

n            God’s Word (Mark 13:31; I Pet. 1:24-25)

           
        God’s Church (Matt. 16:18; 1 Cor. 3:11

        God’s Salvation (John 10:27-29; Rom. 8:38-39; 2 Tim. 1:12)

What makes living for Christ worth it? Basically, we were created to worship God (Rev. 4:9-11), and Christ has made it possible. Due to the fall of man in the Garden, all have sinned and need a Savior to reestablish fellowship with the Creator (Rom. 3:23).

An angel in the book of Revelation (19:10) emphatically stated, "Worship God!" This mandate is one of many ways the unrighteous are misguided, including the fact that: 1) they refuse the Almighty’s offer of salvation to try and extract on their own terms all they can get from life apart from a holy God [Prov. 16:5]; and  2) they may prosper for a short time, but in the end it’s impossible to stand before God’s throne and His Word without Christ’s salvation, and independent of His Bride, the Church.

Thank God that those who have given their lives in worship to God while on earth will enjoy His eternal presence in heaven. That pleasure is worth all of the momentary difficulty we may face in this life (2 Cor. 4:17-18)!

You Can't Move Forward Standing Still

Today a HUGE goal has been reached in my life—please read on...

Casey Neistat, a YouTube vlogger who boasts an excess of 3.5 million subscribers to his channel, made a profound observation in a recent video. A frequent viewer wrote in to ask Neistat how a person might best realize their dreams and move ahead in life. The answer seemed prudent beyond his thirty-five years when he replied:

"The best advice I can give…is to keep very, very busy, and for some people it means going to college. [Figuring out what to do next in life] manifests itself in a million different ways, but sitting around trying to figure it out will never yield results."

Although Neistat dropped out of high school in the 10th grade, he understands the value of education and that you can't figure out your future while standing still. My philosophy is similar.

Education was rarely encouraged in my blue-collar, southern California upbringing. There were at least two attempts to attend college after high school graduation in 1978. The final effort—following a six-year period of time on the road as a touring musician, then the blessing of my marriage and children—led to a BA degree in religion and music from Mobile College in 1989. After ten years of more touring, songwriting and seminar teaching, in 1999 I started the Masters degree program in worship at Liberty. Because of many life circumstances the degree stalled, but was finally resumed fourteen years later in 2014. I just turned in the final assignment toward my Master of Arts degree in Worship Studies—Leadership from Liberty University!

Plans to begin a DWS (Doctorate) program at Liberty are immediate, pending God-funding and acceptance into the program. The plan while accomplishing this goal, as well as afterward, is to continue writing books, blogs and magazine articles on worship and artistry, teaching worship, songwriting and artistry in a university setting, and to continue writing songs and leading worship in a local church. After obtaining the DWS degree, there is a high possibility of attaining a Ph.D. in worship.

Those who have been following the progress in my studies know that for a 56-year-old dude, it was a challenge. But I boast in Christ that I kept a 3.9 average all the way through (one "B" killed the 4.0!).

Thank you for your prayers—I assure you, if you are standing still (not the meditative God-inspired stillness—but due to fear) the future will continue to be elusive; Pray, read, study the Word—get busy!

If I can do it, maybe you can, too!

4 Essentials to Consider When Selecting Worship Leaders and Team Members

My extraordinary wife Brenda—an early-morning riser, devout prayer warrior and student of Scripture—shared her takeaway with me from this morning’s time with God. Because I am a student of worship, she let me in on some gold nuggets about leadership and musical skill from both her Bible reading and the Matthew Henry Commentary, which she often consults during study.

Brenda was reading in 1 Chronicles 6 about David and how he chose his original “worship team.” Verses 31 and 32 reveal:

And these are they whom David set over the service of song in the house of the LORD, after that the ark had rest. And they ministered before the dwelling place of the tabernacle of the congregation with singing, until Solomon had built the house of the LORD in Jerusalem: and then they waited on their office according to their order (NIV).

           

There are several important things to be gleaned from 1 Chronicles 5 and 6 for which modern worship leaders and even potential worship team members would do well to ponder. First of all, God chose David to coordinate worship (service of song) in the house of the Lord. Second, David then carefully chose capable people who would help him serve in this capacity.

“David was no doubt the chief person on the worship team.”

            The importance of choosing biblically qualified leaders for worship must not be lost on the modern church. David’s qualifications are renowned: he was a man after God’s own heart (1 Sam. 13:14); he was a gifted leader (1 Chron. 10:11-47); he ministered skillfully before the Lord (1 Chron. 16:1); he was also an excellent musician, and was a courageous warrior (1 Sam. 16:18). This profile of David is exceptional, but a leader in any discipline must be outstanding among others with similar skills. It is important to also note that scrutiny was given in choosing musicians for the service of the temple. 1 Chronicles 5:6b-8 tells us:

Asaph, Jeduthun, and Heman took their orders directly from the king. There were two hundred eighty-eight of these men, and all of them were skilled musicians. David assigned them their duties by asking the Lord what he wanted. Everyone was responsible for something, whether young or old, teacher or student” (CEV).

An important observation to make here is that David’s helpers humbly received guidance from their leader—David was no doubt the chief person on the worship team. He also assigned skilled assistants to help him organize and implement worship.

“David gave responsibility and authority to each person on the team.”

To complete the profile of a capable worship leader and team, the passage in 1 Chronicles 5 tells us that David chose skilled musicians from among the Levites. Also, a poignant look into David’s leadership shows he was sensitive to the Lord and inquired about specific services for which each servant would be best suited. After giving careful consideration, David gave certain responsibilities and authority to each person on the team.

Matthew Henry (October 18, 1662 – June 22, 1714) conveyed his unique perspective on the process of choosing a worship team. Although Henry lived over three hundred years ago—before the U.S. was even a country—his commentary delivers a fresh and straightforward evaluation. There was plenty of service to be done in the tabernacle of the house of God (1 Chron. 6:48), and, Henry continues:

…to all such services there were Levites appointed…perhaps those that were not fit to be singers, that had either no good voice or no good ear. As every one has received the gift, so let him minister [1 Pet. 2:10]. Those that could not sing must not therefore be laid aside as good for nothing; though they were not fit for that service, there was other service they might be useful in. (Matthew Henry Complete Commentary On the Whole Bible [Special Complete Edition], Kindle locations 72820-72824).

“A multigenerational approach to worship.”

Although the New Testament gives us direction on how to choose ministry leaders (1 Tim. 3:1-13; 2 Tim. 2:1-13; Titus 1:5-9; Acts 6:1-6—highlighting Commitment, Conviction, Competency, and Character), there is little specific direction for how to choose worship teams and leaders aside from the example of David and the Tribe of Levi in the service of temple and tabernacle worship. Here are the four directives gleaned from 1 Chronicles 5 & 6 to consider when choosing a worship team:  

1.    Choose a qualified, godly, and musically-skilled leader who is sensitive to the Holy Spirit and to the needs of God’s people

2.    Carefully select godly team members—instrumentalists, singers and tech people—who are skilled and committed

3.    Assemble a few standout leaders from among the worship team to assist the worship leader

4.    Pick worship team members from all ages—young, old, and in between—for a multigenerational approach to worship

5 Ways to Help Your Church Sing

For one thousand years leading up to the Reformation, hymn singing was a dangerous occupation. Just ask Jan Hus (c. 1370-1415), an early Reformer from modern-day Prague, who was burned at the stake for it. Rewind back to the 4th century (c. AD 350) where a decree by the Church stated: “If laymen are forbidden to preach and interpret the Scriptures, much more are they forbidden to sing publicly in church.”[1] This measure effectually silenced congregational worship in the church for the next ten centuries. Professionals took over (priests) and the congregation—once participants—increasingly became observers of worship.

Why the history lesson, you ask? Because many times the modern church has forgotten the importance of congregational singing in worship. At the Last Supper Jesus, along with the disciples, sang a hymn before heading to the Mount of Olives (Matt. 26:30). In Acts 2: 42-47, one can find an important list of vital activities for the people of God when they gather. These actions include: 1) Preaching and teaching the word of God; 2) Fellowship; 3) The Lord’s Supper; 4) Prayer; and 5) Praise.

“…let’s make sure we do all that we are able to help the church sing “the excellencies of God” at the top of their lungs.”

Martin Luther believed that more people were won to Christ through singing than his preaching, as worship edifies and instructs the Body of Christ (Eph. 5:19; Col. 3:16). When congregations sing, all are truly on the same page together; everyone is singing in the same key, declaring the same words and hearing the same truth at exactly the same time.

      So, if singing is vital to the church, we must make sure our congregations are doing just that. Here are five ways to help worshipers lift their collective voices in praise to God.

1.     Choose sing-able keys

We pick certain keys because the song was initially recorded to promote the lead vocalist on a recording. The original sounded great with all of those high notes and licks put into the performance on the mp3, and it's our desire for the song to capture that same energy and excitement. But for our congregations, we must find a common musical range that an average person can sing, which is considerably limited; the lowest end of that range is around Bb, below middle C—the highest is roughly D, an octave and a step above middle C. Finding the best key is really about being a servant to our people so they can worship freely.

2.     Choose songs that sing like prayers to God

During a recent Internet interview, Tim Timmons was asked, “What is a worship leader?" He described one as a person who helps people sing prayers to Jesus—a very accurate description. As a songwriter, my role is to help believers declare truth, devotion, heart and adoration to God with thoughts that they themselves may never be able to articulate. I have also likened my job to being a writer of greeting cards—helping people say what they really want to express to God. Whether one uses hymns or choruses, it is always advantageous for worship to be in the vernacular (language) of the people. Even as missionaries respect the culture of an indigenous people when sharing the gospel, a worship leader does well to choose songs that are in the heart language of the congregation singing.

3.     Make sure worship songs are scripturally sound

In his book, Worship Matters, Bob Kauflin wrote, “One of the most important aspects of biblical worship we desperately need to recover today is a passionate, scripturally informed exaltation of Jesus Christ and his redemptive work.” The Bible teaches that the church must worship in spirit and in truth (John 4: 24); worship must also be Christ-centered and not man-centered (Matt. 4:10; Rom. 15:1-7; Heb. 13:15); and the Word of God must guide worship (Ps. 119:105; 2 Tim. 3:16-17). Leaders have the responsibility to make sure that what their congregations sing lines up with Scripture. Remember what Martin Luther understood: many learn doctrine and theology from hymns and worship songs!

4.     Help the congregation hear themselves sing

As an electric guitar-playing worship leader guy myself, I love powerful sound, great in-ear monitoring, lights and an energetic audience. But in a live worship setting, many times we have the scenario all wrong. Actually, those who are leading the songs provide accompaniment to help the congregation sing to God (the priority), Who is the ultimate audience. Often when we attempt to be musically powerful, culturally relevant, while offering a world-class concert experience, we thwart the actual purpose of why we are there—to help the church sing! This is counter-intuitive to many Western churches today, but I challenge churches to turn the sound down so the church can hear itself sing. What happens most of the time is that with a “concert” mentality we force the congregation to look to the stage, when they should rather be fixing their attention upon God. This leads to the next and final suggestion…

5.     Avoid “professionalizing” everything

As mentioned earlier, the problem with the 4th century decree from the Council at Laodicea was that the Church had decided common folk didn’t have authority to preach, read the Word on their own, or even participate in worship—which included congregational singing. Therefore, priests did all of the work. Ironically, the word liturgy (a fixed set of formalities used in public worship) actually means “the work of the people!” It is so easy for leaders to take control of worship and make it uber-professional, when actually the purpose of worship, found in 1 Peter 2:9, states that God’s ultimate design for us is to be: “…a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that [we] may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called [us] out of darkness into His marvelous light” (NASB).  

We need to be mindful of our purpose as worshipers; singing together as a congregation is a part of that ultimate design. As leaders, let’s make sure we do all that we are able to help the church sing “the excellencies of God” at the top of their lungs.

About the author:

A native of southern California, Jamie Harvill is best known for writing or co-writing the worship songs “Ancient of Days,” “Firm Foundation,” “Garments of Praise,” and “Because We Believe.” Married to his gorgeous bride, Brenda, since 1985, they have two married children, and three grandchildren. Jamie holds a BA in Religious Studies from the University of Mobile, and an MA in Worship Studies from Liberty University. Check out Jamie’s books, Worship Foundry and To Jesus We Sing. More info at jamieharvill.com

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[1] Elmer L. Towns and Vernon M. Whaley, Worship Through the Ages: How the Great Awakenings Shape Evangelical Worship (Nashville: B&H Academic, 2012), Kindle Edition, location 1590.

Restart: My Road Toward Christ

I came from a family of hard-working skeptics, a home where believing in God was considered a weakness. My maternal grandmother was a person of deep faith, but my father’s family tree was planted firmly in self-reliance. My parents and their three boys grew up without much involvement in church or religious things—a home in which the name of God was rarely, if ever, spoken outside of profanity.

Growing up in southern California in the ‘60s and ‘70s, music, guitars, the beach and a growing hippie sub-culture heavily influenced me. A schoolmate’s house was across the street from us, and he had an older brother who lived in their garage. White smoke from burning marijuana wafted through the cracks in the garage door on a regular basis, and I was curious about the strange character related to my buddy across the street. One day while visiting my friend, the older brother lured me into the shadows of the garage to show me his drug stash and to reveal the satanic bible on a makeshift table next to what was a makeshift bed. I’d never given much thought to the subject of evil, or even God up to that point, so I readily grabbed the satanic bible I was offered and leaped to my feet to join his younger brother inside the equally disheveled house. I never felt safe in that place across the street, and my instincts always told me to run away.

            

A few summers earlier I was invited to join a vacation Bible club in a neighbor’s home about three or four doors down from my friend’s house. There I felt secure and was warmly greeted by the mom of the house before each meeting. The child who invited me to his home was also a schoolmate, and his family was deeply committed to a local Baptist church in town. There on those summer afternoons, I enjoyed the parables of Jesus, the regular-guy disciples, and other characters, especially from Old Testament Bible stories. I didn’t make a connection with God at that point in my life, but was intrigued with the love, acceptance and fun activities—free snacks were also handed out at the end of each meeting, and that was a major draw for me!

            

In 1973 The Exorcist was released. There were reports of creepy, supernatural occurrences on the set of the movie, and the subject of demon possession and demonology became a big topic of conversation across America. The satanic bible that I hid in the top of my bedroom closet a year earlier now had new meaning. I began to mull over in my mind the reality of good and evil; that there just might be a real God and a real devil after all.

            

I put these thoughts on hold through my two years in Jr. High School and, by my freshman year of High School, I met an older classmate who took me under his wing. We would hang out together after school, smoke cigarettes and occasionally smoke marijuana, and experiment with other drugs. When he wasn’t in school, my friend would break into homes and steal jewelry, cash, and anything he could pocket in his mad dash in and out of the stranger’s house. One time he brought me a diamond ring to hide for him until he could get it later. I knew it was wrong and felt guilty knowing a married couple was missing their cherished wedding ring.

I was surprised when my burglar friend all but disappeared from school one week, and our daily time together came to a screeching halt. A few weeks later he came to my house, this time with news that would alter the direction of my life. He spoke of his encounter with Jesus, and a man who visited him in juvenile hall, after this time getting caught stealing. The visitor, an evangelist named Big Jim Tucker, stopped by my friend’s room and told him that God loved him, had big plans for him, and that his misbehavior and all of his shenanigans could be forgiven, and that he could be restored to a brand-new starting place in life—just like a new baby has an opportunity to start fresh. He’d just have to reach out to God for forgiveness. My friend eventually said “yes” to Jesus, restarted his life, and then invited me to meet Big Jim Tucker and Jesus at a local gathering place for Christians.

That Friday night I found myself in a room full of other people who had recently restarted their lives in Jesus; they were reading the Bible and singing songs that sounded nothing like my grandma’s church music. I was curious, shy and scared, but I came back the next day to hang out again at Big Jim’s.

After a few weeks, I craved the love, acceptance, and care shown to me at Big Jim’s place. I went there every day after school. Easter Sunday was coming up that weekend and I accepted the invitation to join a carload of others to see a church play about Jesus’ death on the cross. During the play, I realized that it was Jesus I needed; that the devil was real and I needed to restart my life all over again with my eyes focused on God’s plans for my life and not my own. After the play, and returning to Big Jim’s place, a kind man asked me if I was ready to say “yes” to Jesus like my friend had weeks before. Unlike that dark shadowed garage with the satanic bible in hand, I leaped into a new life with Jesus, Bible in hand. I knew my choice was the right one and I was headed in the right direction.

The biggest change after that was that the Bible became my guidebook. I had to trust the words I read in the Bible every day to be true, and that no matter what, God would personally guide me through life. I was learning more every day about Him, trusting in Him—talking with Him. Even though I stumbled from time to time, I would be forgiven and He Himself would guide me back onto the True path.

I want you to know that this opportunity I was given by God can be yours, too. He wants to come into your life, help you restart and will help you get on the True path. Not only will you be walking with God in life, but also He wants to give you life that lasts forever. God wants to cut the chains that bog you down in life, tying you to things that are harmful. He wants to lift the weight of sadness and aloneness from your shoulders, to live a life with a positive future and a definite purpose. Won’t you say “yes” to Jesus like I did many years ago? He’s never left me, betrayed me or failed to deliver on a promise. He’ll be True for you as well!

Pressure Points

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)



Change is good. It can be invigorating and inspirational. Having to adapt to new procedures, lifestyle adjustments, money issues, etc, can come with change. With change it’s easy to look at life, and especially the calendar, as a series of obstacles to be removed—boxes where finished tasks are checked off.

I’ve found that relationships can suffer when change abounds. I call these times ”pressure points.” When things get busy, communication becomes more difficult, and worry and anxiety can take over our lives. Sometimes “drive-by” comments can be misunderstood, simply by how we say it.

Even as we are challenged with change, thoughtful conversation and communication must be prioritized, especially in marriage. What we say and do under stress can create relational barriers, and it doesn’t matter how well we get things done or adapt to our new jobs, school year, etc., we need to nurture our relationships.

Pressure points that come with change can create opportunities to rely on God.

"It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open ones mouth and remove all doubt" ­­- Mark Twain (attributed)