I desire balance for my own life, and I know you, my friends, do too. Thanks again for reading.
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A LIFE IN BALANCE, PART 1
Personal Balance
Introduction
Balance
in life and ministry is what God intends for His children. In the day-to-day
struggle to pay bills, stay healthy, maintain a close relationship with God,
family, and with others, balance can be a daunting objective. One way to
measure a person’s life balance is to compare it with what the Bible
demonstrates as a successful, well-adjusted life (Prov. 11:1; Eph. 5:15; 3 Jn.
1:2; 1 Pet. 5:8; 1 Jn. 1:4).
This piece will focus on balance that Christians must discover,
practice and teach in the church and in their daily lives. Balance must be practiced in one’s personal
life before he or she can teach and lead within a faith community. It takes
balance to be spiritually fruitful; with one piece missing—worship, service or
spiritual formation—ministry will be unstable, and a minister, or any believer, for that matter, will be unstable in the Body of Christ.
Personal
Balance
The
highest life goal for a Christian is to live a gospel-centered life, to see oneself through the
eyes of Christ and not through the world’s perspective. Every human is flawed,
but the good news is that through Christ’s redemption, one is free to live as a
child of God, not an orphan. To discover one’s God-purpose in life is a great
gift that transforms a person from being a wandering soul into having an
eternally secure bond with the Creator, continually discovering the journey
that God has purposed for them to follow. Gary Barkalow, an expert on life
purpose, says that to navigate one’s calling, believers must constantly be “triangulating”—like a GPS system, which utilizes three satellites in space as separate reference points to determine an object’s
location. These three reference points, in relation to personal balance, can be referred to as a person’s story, desire, and journey.[1]
One’s
story—or history—is a point of
reference for finding purpose, and it rests in a person’s personality, ability,
talent, etc. Desire is also a
valuable clue to purpose: the longings one has drives them toward a goal that, with
the transforming presence of God, may take time and understanding to fully
discern. Barkalow describes the third reference point, journey, as:
…a process, a progression, a journey
that all people must take in becoming who they truly are and in recognizing the
role they are to play. And we must remember, as essential and powerful as these
reference points are, beyond them there are things that only God can reveal
about our lives.[2]
Casting
a personal vision can be a bit painful as one surveys the dark side of his or
her life— peering into areas that are vulnerable; where the possibility of
mistakes are made because of unresolved emotional challenges, hidden struggles
and needs. Conflicts in leadership and in personal life may come from a
person’s own feelings of being hurt, through apparent rejection, or not
receiving proper attention or respect, etc. Leadership experts Gary McIntosh
and Sam Rima observe, ”[Life challenges] often become areas of conflict because
they touch some raw nerve within the leader’s dark side.”[3] Abraham
Lincoln once said, “All human beings have their weaknesses, but not all of us
realize them, come to grips with them, or offset their negative impact. As a
group whose primary endeavor is interacting with other people, leaders must
accomplish the paradoxical task of managing their darker sides.”[4] Organizational
guru, Mark Freeman, suggests each leader (and person) practice self-observation.
He says the groundwork for personal transformation “lies in developing
awareness into our behavior and its causes. It is important to determine when,
why and under what conditions we use certain behaviors.”[5] The
greatest move forward in this journey of self-discovery is in embracing the
gospel-centered view of life, where Christ is predominant—to live as a child of
God and not as an orphan.[6]
Physical
Balance
Discontent
can lead a person out of stagnation and into a hopeful future. On the other
hand, it may lead one into ruin. For instance, advertisers use discontent to entice consumers
into purchasing merchandise. But discontent can also lead a person to
make important life changes—maybe wise health choices in response to
poor habits and their consequences that have crept in over the years.
Mama
birds pull the fur lining of the comfortable nest away so the prickly sticks (realities)
are exposed. This way the discomfort forces the baby eagles to move away from
their comfy home. It oftentimes takes a certain kind of nudge to wake the
unhealthy to ultimately fitfully fly. One’s health, career, relationship with
God, family and friends all deserve full, robust attention, and a wakeup call made by consequences is often necessary to get a person back into a healthy regime of good eating,
proper rest and exercise. Without proper attention to one’s body—the temple of
the Holy Spirit (I Cor. 6:19)—life may become out of balance. As a
student, minister, husband, father and grandfather, there are many people
hoping that I will remain healthy. This would include healthy eating, walking an hour, three days per week, getting at least eight hours of sleep per
night, drinking plenty of water, and avoiding anger, worry, and stress.
Psychological/
Emotional Balance
Balance
for the mind and heart are anchored in how well one knows and practices the
truth about him or herself—a constant aim to live within the Truth of the Word
of God. Knowing the truth about oneself, especially in relation to God through Scripture,
will help focus one’s life upon the eternity (Jn. 8:32). There are certain areas
of life, concurs author David Seamands, which need special care and healing by
the Holy Spirit. These challenges are not subject to routine prayer, self-control,
or resolve. Seamands explained, “[These areas] need a special kind of
understanding, an unlearning of past wrong programming, and a relearning and
reprogramming transformation by the renewal of our minds. And this is not done
overnight by a crisis experience.”[7]
Each
person must take responsibility for his or her own actions, which when fully
embraced will eventually bring freedom. But bondage comes from giving liability
away.[8] In Galatians 6:5-15, Paul says that to take
responsibility for one’s own life means to be trained toward a “self-sufficient
maturity,” to be generous, to especially serve those in one’s own community of
faith, to be confident in God, and to take part in what He is doing in the
earth. Being lazy and looking for a handout is certainly not what Paul
described as being responsible.
Spiritual
Balance
The
pillars of spiritual balance are worship,
service, and spiritual formation. God commands all the earth to worship
Him, which is the first pillar of spiritual balance (Ex. 20:4; Matt. 22:34-40).
Worship is to be practiced both personally and corporately. “It’s one thing to
worship and praise God at church,” writes devotional author Dave Branon, “
[but] it’s quite another to move out into the real world and worship Him through
daily obedience” (1 Sam. 15:22).[9] One’s
worship should not be limited to times and places, but it should be practiced everywhere,
all the time—24/7.[10] Balance
in life means that one wholeheartedly worships God (Ps. 95).
The
second pillar of spiritual balance is service.
In a recent movie, an effectual hotel bellboy served his patrons with this in
mind: “A lobby boy is completely invisible, yet always in sight; a lobby boy
remembers what people hate; a lobby boy anticipates the client’s needs before
the needs are needed.”[11] Jesus
said, “And whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of
Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom
for many” (Mark 10:44-45, NIV). I Corinthians 13:4-8 describes a true servant
in the Kingdom as one who loves: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy
or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is
not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices
with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. Love never ends” (NIV). In the Great Commandment, Jesus
said that loving God and loving others were connected; He stressed, “Love your
neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:39). Balance in life means that one loves and
serves his neighbor, whatever that entails (Luke 6:30).
The
final support of balance is spiritual
formation. In his book, The Purpose
Driven Life, Rick Warren says, “Truth transforms us” [12] (Matt.
4:4; Acts 20:32). Truth abides in God’s Word. Spiritual growth begins with the
indwelling Holy Spirit and when each believer replaces falsehoods with the
God’s truth.[13]
Christ-followers are transformed through trial (2 Cor. 4:17), which builds
spiritual strength and purity (1 Pet. 4:12). Believers are also transformed
through a life of prayer (Matt. 6:9-13).
The
objective of each believer should be Christlikeness. God gives collaborators in
life to help equip the saints, such as “apostles, the prophets, the
evangelists, the shepherds and teachers” (Eph. 4:11-13, ESV). Spiritual growth
is a process through which Christ’s character is fashioned within a believer,
through “the ministry of the Spirit, in the context of community, and in
accordance with biblical standards.”[14] This
process incorporates the whole individual—their yearnings, views, and actions.
Ultimately, this process radically changes a believer’s life, resulting in a
person’s dying to self and living for Christ.[15]
Balance
between spiritual formation, service and
worship is evidence of a life of spiritual strength and stability.
Personal
Ministry Balance
Boundaries
are extremely important for a balanced life and ministry. Henry Cloud and John
Townsend have addressed the necessity of boundaries in many of their books. In
the first of the “Boundaries” series, they wrote:
In the spiritual world, boundaries are…
real, but often harder to see. [You need to] define your intangible boundaries
and to recognize them as an ever-present reality that can increase your love
and save your life. In reality, these boundaries define your soul, and they
help you to guard it and maintain it (Prov. 4: 23).[16]
In
order to live a healthy, emotionally stable life, one must be fully in the
present, listening, and ready to act. Being healthy emotionally and spiritually
means a person is fully absorbed in whatever opportunities God is presenting.
“Being ready,” says author and pastor Tim Chaddick, ”does not mean you fully
understand all the details; it means you fully surrender to the God who plans
them.”[17]
In
ministry and leadership, boundaries are constantly being challenged. Author Jenni
Catron writes of creating a disciplined work culture: “When our mind and
managerial leadership are balanced well with the other dimensions of
leadership, we inspire disciplined cultures where processes are well-defined,
systems and structures are clear, and boundaries are understood.”[18] In order to set up strong boundaries between
personal life and ministry, one must make clear restrictions and limits, and be
disciplined to stick to them. Mark Freeman describes self-leadership as “the
process of influencing ourselves and developing the self-motivation needed to
perform.”[19]
Charles E. Hummel, author of the classic book Tyranny of the Urgent, warns, “Christians who are too busy to stop,
take spiritual inventory and receive their assignments from God become slaves
to the tyranny of the urgent [to manage by crisis]...they don’t complete the work God has for them to
do.”[20]
Next time: Part 2, Family Balance
________________________________________
Footnotes
[1] Gary Barkalow, It's Your Call: What Are You Doing Here? (Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, 2010), Kindle Edition, locations 492-493.
[2] Ibid., locations 669-671.
[3] Gary McIntosh and Samuel D, Rima Sr., Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership: The Paradox of Personal Dysfunction (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2007), Kindle Edition, locations 1863-1865.
[4] Donald T. Phillips, Lincoln on Leadership: Executive Strategies for Tough Times (New York: Warner, 1992), 80.
[5] Mark Freeman, “Personal Strategies Can Lead to Self-Leadership,” Birmingham Business Journal, October 10, 2004, http:// www.bizjournals.com/ birmingham/ stories/ 2004/ 10/ 11/ focus2. html? page = all. (Accessed July 12, 2016).
[6] Rose Marie Miller, Nothing Is Impossible with God: Reflections on Weakness, Faith, and Power (Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press, 2012), 11; 56.
[7] David A. Seamands, Healing for Damaged Emotions (Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, 2015), 15.
[8] Henry Cloud, Changes That Heal: The Four Shifts That Make Everything Better…And That Everyone Can Do Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1992), 146.
[9] Dave Branon, “Obedience Is Worship,” Our Daily Bread (June 9, 2013) http://odb.org/2013/06/09/obedience-is-worship/ (accessed July 12, 2016).
[10] Ibid.
[11] Wes Anderson, director and screenwriter, from the movie The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014), American Empirical Pictures (US) and Indian Paintbrush (US).
[12] Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2002), 212.
[13] Ibid.
[14] “Definition of Spiritual Formation at DTS,” Dallas Theological Seminary, http://www.dts.edu/departments/academic/eml/sf/definition/ (accessed July 12, 2016).
[15] Ibid.
[16] Henry Cloud and John Townsend, Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1992), 29.
[17] Tim Chaddick and Craig Borlase, Better: How Jesus Satisfies the Search for Meaning (Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, 2013), Kindle Edition locations1047-1049.
[18] Jenni Catron, The Four Dimensions of Extraordinary Leadership: The Power of Leading from Your Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2015), 135.
[19] Mark Freeman, “Personal Strategies Can Lead to Self-Leadership.”
[20] Charles E. Hummel, Tyranny of the Urgent, Revised and Expanded (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1994), Kindle Edition locations 206-208.
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