Shoes

Since turning 50, I am more aware than ever of discount Tuesdays, free coffee day and the stack of AARP junk mail that clogs my mail box. I am not even 55 and they have me in their cross-hairs. Alex Trebek is even pitching insurance to me on mid-day TV. I have officially pole-vaulted into a new demographic and I am constantly reminded of it daily.

When the president of the United States is younger than you, you know the second half of life's ballgame is well underway. When people in their 30's reach out to steady you when you walk up the stairs, you know you have stumbled into, as Sinatra sang, the September of your years. I want to deny it but, as I reflect on the time passed, I will have to say that Ol' Blue Eyes is right: it's autumn, the air is crisp, shadows are long and leaves are changing colors...so to speak.

My response is to adapt to my ever-changing life. Gray hair has taken over; the back is a bit tight; my arm isn't long enough to adequately read the writing on a cereal box without wearing granny glasses; it seems that the sleepies come a little earlier than before--no more all-night pillow fights for this cowboy.

I have made great attempts to slow the aging process by eating better, exercising more, trimming my ear and nose hairs more often (twice a week now) and getting the proper amount of rest. The first thing aging folks do is try to hold on to the clothes styles that were cool at the peak of their sexiness...in my case that would be baby clothes, but I digress. Mullets, high-top white tennis shoes, too-tight t-shirts: they all look so pitiful on a 52 year-old. Same for the ladies--please, for the sake of the kids and the public in general, stay out of those halter tops and short-shorts! We need to dress age-appropriate, thank you. I don't mean wear your pants up to your neck with suspenders or orthopedic shoes. I just mean don't try to cover up the fact that you are a beautiful, mature, and graceful 50 something.

I have found that no mater how I dress, I am still 50 under the disguise. My best shot at coolness is in the shoe department. I love shoes that jump out and smack the onlooker. So, if you are thinking I'm gonna roll over and call it quits because I'm blind, tired, sore or a little shaky, you've got another thing coming. I'm still pretty quick in my green Tiger tennis shoes. You wanna race me?