Take The Money And Run

Three of my favorite ladies are sitting around the kitchen table right now after Sunday dinner talking about Josh, my son, and his fiance, Amber's wedding in July. There is no place in the conversation where a guy can jump in and make a comment. They really don't care what guys think when it comes to weddings. This is a chick thing. And by the way, they (chicks) can talk and listen at the same time. Its an incredible sight to behold.

As an ordained minister for more than 20 years, I have officiated my share of weddings. I can offer my suggestions to the bride and her mother but they usually look at me with rolled-eyed pity. You see, their wedding will be like no other. It will be so original and they expect everyone to notice all of the details and the symbolism attached to the decor and the ceremony. Truth be told, no one ever notices the details like the bride and mother. Guys, especially, don't give a flying flip. Guys are so practical when it comes to weddings: 1)ask the father of the bride for her hand in marriage, 2) get a ring and propose, and 3) The Honeymoon! All of the other steps in the wedding process are unimportant.

I can't believe how much a wedding costs today. When Brenda and I married 25 years ago our cake cost around $100. The photos probably cost between $250 and $500. Brenda's mother did the flowers and placed tandem Christmas trees standing like guards at the back row of the aisle. We couldn't disguise the fact that we were married in a gym (the lines on the floor and the goals are very much present in our photos). The simple but elegant Christmas theme did its best to draw attention away from our basketball-sanctuary. I am sure that the costs were crazy for the mid-eighties and I am grateful to my in-law for creating a beautiful memory.

The suggestion I bring to brides is to consider the flow of the wedding for the sake of those invited. I hate waiting for cake just because the bride a groom are taking pictures. I also hate it when there are a billion songs during the ceremony. I suggest the wedding be as early as possible so the bride and groom can take a moment to reflect on the day over dinner (Brenda and I had our wedding at 7 o'clock in the evening...we were both famished and exhausted by the time we reached our evening's destination).

Brides and moms really don't care about my ideas even as they are sane, practical and efficient. Brides aren't looking for efficient...they are looking for "story book". My biggest suggestion to Josh and his bride is: here's how much money I have for this wedding. Its your decision to spend as much as you want or take it on your honeymoon. If I were in their place, I would elope, take the money and run!